Sugarcoat
by Falling is Fatal-x
Summary: Follow Miley journey as she battles with Self Harm and Bullying. Review please and watch my trailer on youtube up soon , i'll put a link x
1. Being Human

Sugarcoat

_It was just another day.  
So why was everybody staring at me?  
I figured it would have to be another rumor.  
I turned to see girls whispering.  
.....about me._

I took my usual seat and sighed.

Would high-school get any better?  
Probably not, but i was waiting for college,.... were i could start fresh.

"Morning class, please take your seats"

English, My favorite subject.

I'd always liked writing and expressing my feelings on paper, i wasn't the favorite student though.

Miss said i should tone it down a bit, but why?.

"I have you essays marked" She said as she slowly started handing them out, she got to me and sighed as she placed the paper on my desk

"I was expectign more from you, Miley" She shook her head and walked away

I figured now would be the right time to look at my grade. And there it was a BIG red D-  
I stook up my hand and she hesitated as she walked back over

"um.. Why did i get a D minus" i asked confused

"Miley.." Why'd she have to do that, say my name and sigh, what did i do wrong?.

She picked up my essay and started reading one of the paragraphs.

"Readers could be angry at Frankenstein for abandoning his creation, when he did nothing wrong, and yet the book calls his creation a monster"

I looked at her still confused, The class were chuckling with their friends but i didn't care.

"This is YOUR opinion miley"

"So..." Wasn't that the point of the stupid essay.

"The book would make readers feel sympathy for frankenstien" She stated simply  
"Well... i feel sympathy for the monster!" i replied, rasing my voice and folding my arms across my chest  
"Miley, raising your voice will only get you in trouble" She whispered, as if.....embaressed  
I stood up and glared at her " I don't care!"

"Miley, if you talk back to me one more time-!"  
"What you'll give me detention, wow big woop!" I said flinging my hands up in the arm

"Thats it miley get out!"

I turned around to see if anybody had a look on their face that suggested they agreed with me, they didn't.

They were all still laughing at me, i held back my tears and walked out the room, slamming the door.  
I started walking to sanctions but then i stopped. I finally let a tear escape and roll down my cheek.

I turned around and ran to the toilets

Nobody ever saw me cry.

My breathign was getting heavier as i sat in the stall, staring at my bag. I was wondering whether they'd care, but each thought made me angrier.

I unzipped my bag and pulled out another bag. Nobody ever saw this, nobody knew,.. nobody cared. I opened up the small clutch and pulled out a blade.

I left another tear slip and stain the blade, before pressing to my arm with force.

I was fine, getting better,

but i just couldn't take the heartache anymore

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**AARGGHH!! I don't know what to think of this, i kind of like it, but i'm not sure where it will go from here, it's gonna be a chapter story, but i don't abotu happy endings, should i??**

**Review please,**

**I'm gonna say i'll update after like...3 reviews?? , thats not too much to ask for**

**x**


	2. Hear you Me, My friend

I let the blade fall, as i watched the blood trickle down my arm.

I honestly don't remember how it started.  
But cutting with a from of release.

I heard people entering the toilets and i quickly fumbled with my bags.  
I pulled my sleave down and walked out the stall quickly

"What aren't you gonna wash your hands?"  
I turned to see the blonde girl, who, like me, was always in the toilets.

I gave her a small smile and turned on the taps.

"So why are you always in here?"

I continuing staring at my hands in the soapy water, as if it was the most facinating thing in the world.

I was avoiding answering that question

"Well you know why i'm here" She said turning to the mirror and applying a coat of lipgloss.  
I looked up at her, with resentment in my eyes.... she was beautiful.

"It's fine if you don't wanna tell me, I'm just...curious"

Why was she smiling at me?

"I'm Lilly, ..By the way".

"Miley" i mumbled, still staring at my hands.

She looked down and stared at them too, "I think there clean enough hun"

I pulled my arms away and walked over to the dryer.  
I could've sworn i saw her staring, i flinched and tucked my arms to my side.

"So why aren't you in lesson"

"i got sent out" i answered with no hesitation.

"Oooh hardcore!" She teased nudging me a little.

What was this? Was she being nice?

"Well listen miley, if were gonna be bathroom buddies, maybe next time, you should...expand your vocabulary just a little bit" She smiled and turned to the door.

I felt like screaming at her,.. but i didn't.  
i stayed quiet, in my scret release of self-inflicted pain.

By lunch time i was ready to go again.  
I found out why everyone was staring at me that morning.  
...It was a rumor A sick and twisted rumor.

As i walked to the canteen, their laughs echoed in my head and tears stung my eyes,  
I turned and rushed away to my secret place.  
The stalls were full.

My breathing got heavier, and i ran my hands through my hair in frustration.

I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were read with black dripping onto my cheeks.

I ran.  
I didn't know where i was going, i just needed to be alone.

I eventually stopped, and noticed i was in the part of school were everyone went to smoke

It was the begining of dinner and everyone would be eating before they came down here.

I found a hard piece of metal and sat down.

My hands were shaking now, as i fumbled for the blade in my bag, Then i remembered i'd dropped in the stall that morning.  
My breathing sped up more, to a level that was uncontrolable

I found somethign sharp.  
a cumpus.

I stared at it for a moment, was i crazy?  
It was a cumpus, and i was about to cut myself with it.  
I didn't care, i needed my release.  
I pulled the cumpus open and dragged the pointed end along my ragged skin.

My eyes starting welling up as i realized what i'd become

Dependent.

I flung my head back with pleasure and remembered why i'd never stopped, The feeling of controling my own pain was just too powerful

"Well well well"

Who was that?, shit.  
I pulled my sleeve down quickly hiding the fresh new scar.

"I knew you had to be doing something, but..cutting?"  
It was the blonde...Lilly

"I.. uh....I was just... i had a blister".

She smiled.  
Was she crazy too. "Miley Miley Miley" she said giggling "You do relaize you have to stop" She finished, a little more serious this time

"It's none of your buisness what i do to my body!!"  
I stopped for a moment and relaized what the smell was. .

"..And your smoking pot so i think you have no right to judge"

It was quiet

I could see her biting her lip

"Can i see it??"

I stared at her for a moment and back at my arm, I decided it would be okay.

She was high, and it didn't seem to bother her.

I pulled my sleeve up and stared at her , waiting for a response.  
"woah hahooh" she said laughing.

"yeah" i said hiding the anger i felt.

I pulled my sleeve down and turned to walk away.  
"Hey miley wait.."  
I stopped in my tracks, with my back still facing her

"You want a puff before i put it out?"

**-------------------------**

**CHAPTER 2!! .I'm still not sure about this tory but i decided to continue, i tried to make this one longer, but i wanted to get it up, leave a review please xoxo**


	3. A Secret's Safe With Me

I tunred around, and looked down.

"You won't ..tell anybody?"

She sighed "Who am i gonna tell?, nobody listens to me,... and nobody give a damn about you"

I looked up at her.  
I wasn't sure how to feel.

"Come on, we have 10 minutes of lunch left" She stubbed out her joint and walked back into the corridor.

I pulled at my sleeves, and followed.  
"Where are we going?"

"where do you wanna go?, ...we could ditch?"

I bit my lip thinking about it

"You've never ditched?"

I didn't say anything

"Oh my god.." Why'd she say that like that?, like was so completely typical of me?

"I would..."

She smiled at me.

"I have p.e after lunch... and well ...p.e sucks"

She laughed a little, and a small genuine smile crept upon my face.

"come on" she smiled and walked ahead.

Had i actually made a friend?

We stopped at her house.  
Her mum was an alcoholic, she didn't care if lilly ditched.

"So cutting?"

"I don't like to talk about" i said firmly.

"It's a big deal you know.." She began.  
I looked up at her.

"Cutting.... I knew a guy.."  
i blanked and stopped listening, why would i care about some guy?

"So weed?" i said in the excact same tone she had.

"Yeah well, you know some people say you can get medical weed, ..because it helps with everything, seriously you should try it"  
I scrunched up my face and looked at the drugs a little disgusted, was my "friend" really advising me to do drugs

"Well it's better then cutting" She said almost as if reading my mind

"I'm fine...really" i lied

"Miley, I just don't wanna see you get hurt, i wanna be able to help.." she said slowly What was i?, retarded?

"You've known me five minutes, when did you become my mum?!!"

I had to raise my voice and say something stupid as usual

I sighed in defeat and rested my hand on my head.

"Is that what it's about?..your mum?"

A few moments passed before i responded

"..What mum?"

My mum got pregnant with me very young, she slept around, she didn't want me.  
My dad said he'd pay her to have me and then she could go.  
Of course, I'm not suposed to know that...

"Miley...., I'm sorry"

She reahced out her arms as if to ..hug me?  
This was new to me.  
All i'd ever wanted was to be loved, but.  
i don't think it's that easy..

**---------------------------------**

**OMG!! Sorry for the ultra-crapiness of this chapter, but i really wanted to get something up.**

**I decided the story will be very deep and dramatic ( i wanna kinda jump right in to what self-harm can be liek and how extreme it can get) But all in all there will be a happy ending.**

**watch my trailer please!! :D (link on my profile) **

.com/watch?v=FcXfoTSs3vY

**xoxo review please xxx**


	4. The Painful Truth

"MILEY!!!"

I turned to see a blur of blonde, bouncing towards me.

"Hey Lilly" I smiled

We walked to Our first class together,

It was the only one, of 8 lessons, that we shared.

I took my usually seat and Lilly gave me a weird look.

She beckoned for me to come sit next to her.

I smiled, forgetting all the torment this class had put me through, and took the seat next to hers.

Miss walked in, dressed in her usual black trousers and flowery blouse

she sat at her desk and peered at her laptop.

"Messages.." She mumbled, rolling the mouse.

"Lilly Ospent and...." She paused and said my name slowly "Miley..Cyprus "

She looked up and i sunk in my chair,

How could they know?, it was only yesterday!.

"The attendance would like to speak with you both" She finished quietly.

I looked at lilly, with tears pirckling my eyes, it suddenly felt hard to breathe,

I got up slowly and pushed my chair in, behind me.

Lilly followed and we started walking out the classroom, and down to the attendance office.

"Miley.." Lilly whispered waving her hand over my eyes.

I just stood there, shock rippled through me, i was scared.. infact i was TERRIFIED..

She looked down, as if she felt ...guilty

"It's gonna be okay" She said reassuring me

Thats okay for her to say, this must happen to her all the time! ..but not to..me

She grabbed my hand and linked our fingers together,

I breathed,.. And it wasn't hard

I wasn't alone in this.

We carried on walking, and stopped outside the small room.

I took a deep breath and slowly pushed the door open.

One of the ladys at the desks, peeked up from her computer and smiled at me.

"you must be miley.." She said sweetly.

What was going on?? , i thought this was gonna be a shouting session.

"Please, come in.. do take a seat"

She gestured towards 3 chairs in the corner.

i looked behind me at Lilly, and we walked over to the chairs.

"Now can you girls tell me where you were yesterday at 2 oclock?"

Oh god.. Suddenly breathing became an issue again.

"Erm.. i was in Design Tech and Miley was in P.E" Lilly smiled, confident.

I looked at her and then back at the floor.

"hmm.. i guess i could recheck but neither of you have a mark.."She began

"Come on miss, we wouldn't truant on our own and we wouldn't together, we hardly know each other" Lilly stated.

I must say she was a good actress and i was feeling a little more confident.

"Hm.. yes it does seem strange.."

I think she believed it!! she actually believed it!

Or maybe not.

You know that feeling..??

When you get home, and see your dad, with his arms folded, across his chest, and you know you've done something wrong?

kinda like right now.

"Hey daddy.." I said slowly.

I acted as if i had no idea why he was mad

Honestly, i could never be sure

He was always mad

But the look in his eyes, told me i'd done something unforgiviable

"You want to explain this?" He held up a letter, adressed from the school.

I looked down.

"Dad.." i whispered.

"No Miley!, You skipped school and you lied about it" He shouted

"I didn't lie..." I mumbled still looking down

It was never a good idea to talk back to my dad.

He wasn't violent or anything, he just held a grudge for a long time

"No, you just didn't tell me!" He paused for moment and his tone softened

"If theres something bothering you miles i want to know about it.."

I looked up slightly and thought about telling him,

but i didn't

It would only make him madder

He'd blame himself, and i'd feel worse.

I let a single tear roll down my cheek, before walking past him and up the stairs.

I thought about who would care..

If i simply shoved 40 sleepers in my mouth,

..... or tied a rope to the top of the stairs...

I decided against it..

It could get better.

I took out a fresh blade and pressed it to my arm,

I pulled on it furiously,

i felt my pain fade away, as my blood dripped to the floor

i can't go on like this

**-----------------------------------------------**

**I changed their last names!! OsPent and CyPrus, I know your not supposed to use real names so i added a P to both of them.**

**So Chapter 4, Sorry it's late, i've got a cold, we had to walk 16 mile on Friday**

**Review please, you all inspire me! :D**

**xx**


	5. UPDATE! not a chapter!

Lots of people are asking me if Olivers going to be in this story..

I'm not sure yet

I don't know how to include him,

I might make him like a bullie??

I don't know, tell me what you think

X


	6. I'll be here

I stuffed my headphones in, and sighed.

I didn't want to be here But i didn't want to be at home either

I heard a muffled noise; I puled my headphones out.  
It was silent for a moment before i felt a thud on my back

"Hi lilly"  
"Hey, Check this out" She opened up a page of her art book to reveal a bunch of scribbles.

I didn't even know she took art.

"Wow lilly it's...it's.." I gave in trying to guess, and decided to be honest "what is it?"

"It's you" she smiled.

My face crumpled

"You know cause' it's dark and angry yet... strangley beautiful"  
I smiled slightly, and looked down

"I got a C+, Miss said it was very expressive and didn't mean anything" Her tone changed as she mumbled something under her breath.

I carried on walking.

"So what happened with your dad?"  
How did she always know what i was thinking?, it was beyond me.

"He hates me" I said simply.

"He doesn't hate you" She smiled trying to re-assure me, but i knew the turth.

My dad gave up everything for me, but i wasn't enough.  
He couldn't cope without my mum.

"No...he's just upset" i sighed I wanted so much for my dad to be happy.  
He'd done so much for me

"You wanna hang out tonight?" She asked, quickly changing the subject.

I thought about it for a minute, and it seemed like a god idea . I didn't want to go home and face my dad... and if i was out with Lilly i could avoid him all day.

I turned, and felt a smile spread out across my checks, "Okay" She smiled and walked of ahead to her next class.

I walked slowly to the place me and Lilly decided to meet. I looked around at the dark empty park. I couldn't really see, but i could feel my way around.  
I stumbled through the dark and onto a nearby swing.

"Boo!" Lilly said jumping out out the darkness.  
My expression didn't change. "Oh come on!, how did that not scare you!" She whined

I shook my head and smiled. Me and Lilly seriously had nothing in common.  
Yet we got along so well.

She took the swing next to mine and sat down.  
"Cold out here. huh?" She said swinging slighty.

"Yeah" I felt my breath hit the cold air, and goosebumps shivered down my arms.

"You wanna come back to my house?" She asked standing up and holding out a hand.  
I took it, without thinking, It was becoming much easier to just be a normal girl.

We walked about half a mile to Where Lilly lived.

As soon as we stepped into her normally cold flat, a wave of uncomftable warmth swept over me.

"You want a drink?" she asked going to the kitchen a pulling out a couple of mugs.  
"No i'm good" I said , my mouth suddenly feeling very dry.

She quickly poured herself some hot choclate and sat down in the living room, i followed and tugged at my coat .  
"Miley.."

I looked up for a moment and saw she was looking at my arms.

"you can tak your jacket of, ..i'm not gonna scream"

I took a deep breath and slid the sleeves of. She said it didn't bother her but i could feel her eyes bouring into me.

"This is extreme miley"

The happy tone had faded from her voice into a unfamiliar serious tone.

Why did we have to do this? I liked talking to her, and somehow the conversation, always got turned around, to talking about me.

She ran her fingers along my arm.  
I bit my lip as she touched my newly formed scar .  
"When did you do this?" I looked up and sighed.. "..Yesterday"

I saw the hurt stinging her eyes, but she didn't look away.

"Why..do you do this?"

Now that was a question i couldn't answer .  
"I don't know.." I took a breath and continued, hoping she might understand.  
"I guess it's the only pain, ..i can control"

She looked up and the hurt seemed to have faded.  
"I understand"

I didn't think she did but it was best not to argue.  
She sniffled and took my hands in her.  
"Okay Miles, You need to stop, And i'm gonna be here with you every step of the way"

Miles? Me, stop?, what about her? I didn't say anythning, i really didn't want a fight.

I sighed and just mumbled a response I wasn't sure if it was a lie or the truth but i needed to end this conversation.

"Okay"

**------------------------**

**Sorry for the uter crapiness but i'm setting of to school in like 2 minutes and i wrote this really quickly**

**So I decided that Oliver is going to be in this but he doesn't have a major role.**

**I'm not gonna say his part just yet, Because i want you to read on and find out.**

**Please review xoxo**


	7. We all have our secrets

The next day didn't get better.

It was finally the weekend.  
But that meant facing my dad, and having to tell him why i ditched.

I climbed out of bed slowly, groaning.  
It was only 7:30

I was so used to getting up for school, i woke up automatically, and never got to sleep in.

I walked down the hall and reached the stairs.

My footsteps got quieter, as i heard my dad sigh.

He was stressted,... and it was my fault

I felt my heart pounding in my chest when i reached the living room,  
I pushed the door open, and saw him look up.

"Hey Miles.." He said quietly.

_He wasn't mad!_

_i should've been happy But why wasn't he mad?_

I sat on the sofa next to him, and picked up a piece of paper, off the table.

Well there was my answer in black and white.

We were in debt.

Alot of debt.

"Daddy.." I began slowly.  
_I didn't know what to say.  
I just wanted to say the right thing and make him feel better._

"I don't know what to do miles" He whispered.

I saw a tear prickling his eye, but he didn't let it fall.  
He was stronger then that.

"It's gonna be okay.." i soothed rubbing his back

He let the tears fall and i regretted saying anything.

I put my arm round him and pulled him to my chest.

I wanted for once, to be the responsible one.

He started crying more, and his tears stained my PJ's.

I let my own tear fall, as i shushed him, rocking him back and forth.

_How did everything get so messed up?_

He pulled away and looked at me, ..reallly looked at me.

"You a good kid, Miley"

He smiled slightly, But i could tell it was just a string of hope.

A chance that we'd make it through, ...  
if we stuck together.

He sniffed his nose and attempted another smile.  
"look at us.."

He was trying to be strong for me.  
and i admired him for that.

"go get some clothes on" He said standing up and wiping away his tears.

I did as i was told.  
Well i intended too, but once i reached my bedroom, i broke down in a flood of tears.

I sunk to the floor and held my head in my hands.

I reached for my bag and gulped back tears, as i stared at my cutting equipment.

_I thought about what Lilly had said, and shoved my bag away with pride._

I wiped my tears and quickly got dressed.

I reached for the phone, and remembered i didn't have Lilly's phone number.

Aggravated, I tugged a jacket over my arms, and started walking to Lilly's home.

I knocked and waited patiently.

Silence

I lifted my fist to knock again, but froze when i heard screaming.

I heard the sound of a womens voice echoing through the walls,  
.. and Lilly...crying

The silence struck, and my head started spinning.

_What was going on?_

I walked away quickly, and sat down on a railing outside.

I heard my breathing escalte, i was worried.

_I needed Lilly , i needed her to tell me, it was okay._

I started rocking my self back and forth, from the pain of withdrawl.

I pulled up my sleeve and stared at my scars.

I didn't realize i was crying until, i saw water stream down my arm.

I needed something...

I started scartching away furiously

It was a better way ....it wouldn't scar.

Or so i thought,

After about 30 seconds of scratching, a big read mark apeared on my arm, and parts were bleeding.

I looked down and let my tears continue to fall.

_I was helpless_

**---------------------------------**

**Sorry for using the word "I" over and over again :(**

**What's another word for "I" ? hmm...**

**Anyway another chapter, i thought i would add some Lilly drama :)**

**So since it's the holidays, i decided i'll try and upload a lot.**

**So tell me what you think, and your ideas about Lilly and Oliver's Parts**


	8. Driven By hate and Tears

I pulled myself up and dragged feet along the floor, pulling my sleeves down as far as they would go.

When i got back home i walked straight upstairs, ignoring my dad

I sat on the edge of my bed and starting nervously biting my nails. I cringed at the taste of my electric blue nail polish.

_I was so worried._

There was an explanation for what I'd heard at Lilly's, and I had to figure it out. I thought of all the possibilities, but I wasn't thinking straight.

What if they'd been robbed or something?

What if someone was holding a gun to her head, at this very moment

It hurt to think about it.

I hadn't known her that long, but she meant the world to me,

I didn't want Lilly to be snatched away from me

I wiped away a single tear before it could roll down my cheek.

I decided to just go to bed, maybe things would be clear in the morning.

My usual routine meant tying up my hair and taking a shower, I decided not to bother. I pulled my sheets down and climbed under, burying my face in the duvet.

The weekend seemed to last forever

And it's sounded weird but I was anxious to go to school

I had to confront Lilly and get some answers.

I saw her walk through the school doors with her head hung.

The scene looked awfully familiar.

"Lilly!!" I called after her.

She turned slowly.

She didn't look happy like usual.

"Lilly what's up?" I asked

She looked so gloom and depressed.

As I got closer, I noticed a red mark covering all her cheek.

I lifted my hand to touch it, but she slapped it away.

"Leave me alone!" She moaned turning her back on me and walking away.

_I couldn't understand,_

_She'd said we were friends._

I had suspicions of what could have caused a mark like that, but I had to talk to her and be sure.

I didn't see her again until lunch.

I stared around the canteen, but she was nowhere.

I remembered the day I met her, and walked towards the smoking area.

sure enough she was there, ..but she wasn't smoking

I walked towards her and sat at her side.

"What do you want Miley?"

She seemed so angry, But there was a part of her, that sounded desperate for a conversation.

like she wanted me to know, but as the same time she was worried about what I'd think

"Lilly.."

I blinked and looked straight at her

"You said you were gonna be there for me...and I wanna be there for you.."

I wanted so desperately to get something right. I wanted her to smile….. but she didn't, she stayed staring at the floor, barley breathing.

I reached my arm out across her shoulder, but she pushed it away aggressively

I let a tear sting my eye, but I didn't want her to see me cry

I got up and turned to walk away, but she said something that made me stop completely

"I'm not your friend"

The way she said it wasn't like a kiddie fall-out, it was serious, as if she'd lied all along.

I didn't turn around, ..after a moment of holding my tears, I sighed and walked away.

She was the one who'd told me to be strong, ..

……maybe it was a test

I still had time to kill until lessons started again.

I decided to surf the internet, maybe get ahead on my homework.

I walked over to the computers rooms, and examined each one,

Most of them were packed, expect one.

I took a seat over in the corner, away from all civilization

As usual I signed into my email and checked all my new messages.

Here was one, from... Oliver Musspo

I'd heard that name before..

Of course, I didn't personally no him.

He was a popular,

He went by Ollie, and was mean to everyone, including people he didn't know.

I opened the email and read it slowly.

Hey Miley,

Just found this, you might like it

Ollie x

It was weird to see his name lit up with a kiss at the side,

I clicked the attachment and suddenly a picture of me popped up on the screen.

There was banner along the top that read

"The Miley Cyprus fan club"

There was chat box, with comments from all my

"fans"

I scrolled down reading every single comment

I sighed and shut the page down.

I knew cyber bullying was a pathetic thing to do, it was for those who were to cowardly to actually bully you, but somehow it still hurt.

My heart was stinging and I couldn't stop the pain no matter how hard I tried

There was only one way to deal with this kind of pain.

I thought about Lilly but then all thoughts left my mind.

_She didn't even care._

I thought about the stalls but turned away and walked back to smokers area, it seemed safer there.

I sat on the hard piece of metal, where I'd previously sat the last time I cut at school.

I pulled out a clean blade and pressed it to my arm.

At first I went slow, just to release my pain.

But then I thought about Lilly, and started tugging harder, releasing …… ..anger.

"Thanks Miley.. That's really what I need"

I turned to see Lilly walk away.

She tried to turn quickly, but I still saw her tear filled eyes.

I pulled down my sleeves and ran after her.

"What are you talking about!?" I screamed

"You know not everything's about you Miley!"

I looked down and back up at her

"Lilly what happened..?" I asked, more gentley this time

"My mum, She's... She's a bitch"

My suspicions were confirmed, she's been abused,.. hit.

Her tears were more visible now, as her mascara ran down her cheeks.

She wiped them quickly and stared back at me.

I thought about it.

It's understandable to be aggressive after physical abuse,

God only knows what her mum did to her.

"Lilly...I am so sorry.." I began.

She just shook her head and turned away.

I didn't want her to be angry, but I guess that was one more thing to add to my list of bad karma.

**----------------------------**

**Yay! another chapter! :D**

**And it's longer!!**

**So in this chapter theres a little bit more on Lilly and Oliver, rather then just Miley**

**Review please x**


	9. The symptoms of Fear

I ran after Lilly.

I wasn't going to let her get away without giving me details on what actually happened.

"Lilly wait!"

She turned, but the look on her face spelt "annoyed".

I didn't say anything, I was hoping maybe she'd tell me herself.

I understood her being upset, but through-out the week she'd known me, she knew I wasn't strong enough to handle her evil glare.

"Miley..what your doing…I can't take it.." She paused for a minute and continued, raising her voice a little "Your hurting yourself!" .

My gaze fell, I was scared to look her in the eye

"You know Miley, …You're the best friend I've ever had and…I don't wanna see you hurt yourself over and over again"

I scrunched up my face with mixed emotions

"Hold on!, When did this become about me?!".

"The day I met you!" She shouted.

Seeing her so angry, tore me up inside.

I wasn't quite sure how to feel in a friendship, but Lilly was the most amazing person I'd ever met.

I never wanted to see her get hurt and yet the bruised mark on her face, proved that I couldn't protect her

We stayed silent, looking at each other,

but she sighed and turned away within a couple of minutes.

I decided not to go after her again, ..I'd wait until she calmed down.

I walked back to the main part of school, with my head hung.

I looked up briefly to see everybody laughing and pointing

They all had their laptops in their hands.

I knew what they would looking at, and I couldn't stand it.

I ran out the school doors, my feet barely scrapped the ground, and I had no idea where I was going, but I had to get away from there.

I though about going home, but that meant explaining to my dad, what I'd hid from him for so long.

My feet finally stopped outside a block of flats.

I realized where I was and let the tears slowly fall.

Lilly's.

I remembered her mum was an alcoholic and probably wouldn't be there anyway.

I walked along the flats to Lilly's number.

I was weary of course,

Lilly had come to school battered and bruised.

My heart was thumping at the consequences.

What if her mum hit me?,

I didn't care.

If Lilly could take it then I would, I'd be strong for the one person I actually cared about, …….whether she cared about me or not.

I pushed the door and it creaked open,

No lock.

I examined it and realized it had been kicked at some point during the argument

.

I crept in slowly seeing if Lilly's mum was in sight.

She wasn't

I placed my hand on the banister and dragged my feet up the stairs,

I looked at every photo on the wall running my finger along the latest one,

Lilly looked so happy.

It seemed like forever since I'd seen her smile....

I forced myself to look away and carry on to the top of the stairs.

I noticed a door on the left and figured it was Lilly's.

There were scribbles all over her door, mainly of skulls.

I pushed it open and sat on the bed.

I thought for a moment, about how things could turn out.

I thought back to my college theory.

I could start fresh....... be somebody.

I snapped out my thoughts when I saw a black blur approach me

.

I reached my hand out and rubbed its head.

It purred and I knew instantly what it was.

I lost myself in thought and starting thinking out loud

"Why does no-body like me?" I asked the cat

It only continued to purr.

"You like me.. don't you?" The animal responded by rubbing it's head on the side of my hand.

I smiled

I got bored of the silence and walked across the hall to another room

The bathroom.

I looked at myself in the mirror.

My face was smudged.

I wiped the black marks away and rinsed my face with cold water.

I hated the reflection staring back at me.

I reached for the side of the mirror and opened a cupboard.

It was like a mini chemist

Painkillers, sleepers..

I pulled out one of the bottles and read the instructions.

"Take 1-2 pills at a time. Do not repeat doses within 4 hours."

I pulled out a couple and poured them down my throat, I sucked on the tap and swallowed.

They didn't seem to do anything.

I untwisted the cap again and poured some more out.

About 7 this time.

I poured them down my throat and cringed.

I should have had another drink but I couldn't be bothered.

I stood impatiently, tapping my hand on the side of the sink,

They weren't working!

I got really impatient, and shakily poured the rest of it's contents in my hand

I stared for a moment

Thinking...

What if i took to many?

I decided it wouldn't matter

After swallowing the final contents, my pain disappeared, I was … numb

What had I taken?

I had no idea, but they worked.

I felt my knees tremble ..

**-------------------------------**

**Sorry if you can't understand it too well.**

**I wrote this really quickly**

**And it was hard to write about Miley taking pills, because i've never really taken an overdose, so i can't describe the feeling.**

**Anyway.**

**The stories coming to the happy ending soon.**

**I think they'll probably be about 3 more chapters, then i want ideas for something new.**

**REVIEW!! xoxo**


	10. Sudden Realization

Why did my eyelids feel so heavy?

I had to blink a few times before I could force them open

White walls…

Where was I?

I tilted my head a little, and scoured the room for any sign of life.

I saw tried, lifeless bodies stretched out across beds

I looked down at myself to see if I was one of them

I was in the hospital

Wait,… why was I in the hospital?

I looked to see if there was any visitors in the chair next to me

Lilly. I knew I'd get some answers from here

"Hey.."

"How'd I get here?" My voice sounded shaky and no louder then a whisper..

She didn't reply. I don't think she heard me, but I wasn't surprised..

I could barely hear me

"Hey Mr C!, She's awake!!"

I heard the groans of all the other tired patients, as Lilly's voice echoed through the walls.

Within' seconds my dad appeared at my bedside.

It defied all nature how anyone could get here so fast, but guess he was just worried.

He was shaking as he took one of ym hands between his

"Hey baby girl" He smiled

It was a soft smile, and it was clear he blamed himself.

"How'd I get here?" I asked again.

This time I was answered, but only briefly.

"Lilly called an ambulance" He looked down as if he was.. ashamed? Like he should have been the one to find me.

"Can I talk to her?.." I paused to see he wasn't catching on

"alone..?"

"Oh" He sniffled, and kissed my forehead before getting up to leave

"Lily what happened?"

She sighed before answering

"you took some of my mums pills"

The memory came flooding back, but I still didn't know what I'd taken.

"27 sleepers" She answered reading my mind again.

"wow.." It sounded so stupid now, to even consider taking unperceived pills.

I didn't want to kill myself, I just wanted to feel better, ..to make the pain go away

"so I heard you saved me" I smiled weakly, tryign to lighten the serious atmosphere we'd created.

"Yeah.." She sighed again "but Miley you need to stop"

I looked down, I hated that she was right, and the thing I wanted to stop, I kept on telling myself it was fine, but I couldn't erase the pain I felt.

"What your doing is dangerous okay?.. it's scary" She gulped, trying not to breakdown and cry.

"I know" I whispered "and I'm gonna try"

She looked up at me, as if it wasn't enough to hear me say that.

"I'm gonna really try"

She looked back down, and then silence dawned upon us.

The it hit me

"Lilly, your mum!" My voice sounded much louder, as I jumped up in my bed.

"sshh" She soothed, pushing me back down.

"It's okay, she's gone…" she whispered.

The she looked back at me, confused

"Didn't you find the note?"

Note? What note?

"she left a note saying she couldn't cope anymore, and she was leaving"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing

Lilly's mum had abused her and then left

How could she do that? How could anybody be so cold?

"Lilly, where are you gonna live!?"

"It's okay.. The flats mine now.. And she left me some money to get me through a couple of years"

"Theres no way, your staying in an abandoned flat, ..by yourself!"

She looked down like she was desprete and there was no other solution.

I remembered when Lilly had said she'd be there for me, and took this as my opportunity to be there for her

"your staying with us!" I folded my arms across my chest, confident this was battle I was going to win.

She looked confused

"Miley I need a home, not a vacation"

"And we have a home!"

She looked away, tryign to think of a comeback, but she eventually gave in an embraced the offer.

"And your dad won't mind?"

Was she seriously asking that??

"Lilly you saved my life!.. Of course he won't mind!"

She smiled and we started talking about where she would sleep.

It seemed like only seconds later, when a nurse said visiting hours were over.

Lilly just smiled at me, mouthing the words "thank you"

My dad was much more attached.

He pulled me into a bear hug and rocked me back and forth before whispering he loved me, and finally leaving

_We were through the worst._

_Things could only get better_

_**----------------------**_

_**Sorry it's been a while, my internet keeps cutting me off**_

_**Reviews make me smiley :D x**_


	11. The feeling

The doctor said I could home the next day, I still couldn't understand why they kept me in overnight, But it didn't matter.

I was going home.

The first thing I did when I got back was sleep.

My dad had been in hospital a lot due to alcoholism and understood why I couldn't get any sleep in the hospital beds.

Waking up seemed weird.

Maybe because it was 3 in the afternoon, or maybe because I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach, that I couldn't describe. I'm not sure what it was, but it was the first time I'd felt it in a while, and I kinda I liked it.

It was the first day in 4 years, my dad had let me stay home from school

It felt good to sleep in.

I bounced down the stairs and yawned as I reached the kitchen.

My dad smiled, a real smile.

I hadn't seen that in years.

"Hey kiddo I made you pancakes"

Pancakes!? Today was defiantly a good day.

Lilly walked in moments later.

She didn't knock, just slung her bag down, like this was her own home.

The thought of that made me smile.

I ran over and hugged her, none of said a word.

We didn't need too.

She pulled away but kept her hands on my shoulders

"You look good" She stated simply.

I think she meant I looked better then I did the day before, but that's just down to a good nights sleep.

"Pancake, Lilly?" My dad asked looking up from the frying pan.

She responded with a grateful nod, and took at seat at the kitchen side, shoving a forkful of pancake and syrup in her mouth.

I watched my dad treat her like his own, and smiled.

In four years of high school I hadn't made a single friend, and then in one day, I'd met the best friend I could ever have dreamed of.

"I cleared the guest room out, there's only a bed and a wardrobe but you can decorate it how you like" Lilly smiled and thanked my dad..

They looked like they were having fun and those pancakes smelt soooo good!!.

I couldn't resist running up behind Lilly and snatching a pancake from her plate.

"Hey!" she stood up, trying to grab the pancake, but it was already in my mouth and gone within seconds.

The day was great, but I was nervous about school.

"you don't have to go back yet darling"

My dad sounded sweet, but I answered him honestly.

"I want to.."

**----------------------------**

**Sorry it's short, but i had this written and i wanted to get it up**

**And thankyou so much for all the reviews on the last chapter, your all awesome! :D**

**And yes this story is comign to an end**

**I think they'll be one or two more chapters**

**So review please!! :) x**


	12. Nothing left to hide

The next day at school, the feeling was back.

I still couldn't be sure what it was, but I decided it could be.. Happiness

Me and Lilly walked to school with our arms linked,

I stopped outside the building and took a deep breath

Lilly looked at me and asked me the question

"You sure you wanna do this?"

"I'm totally sure.. I'm fine, I wanna show the bullies that.. I'm not scared of them anymore"

I smiled and she smiled back, we continued walking and entered the school building.

I examined the halls and saw girls whispering as usual.

I knew what they were whispering about, but .. It didn't bother me.

I saw a tall boy with dark brown hair make his way through the crowd.

"Miley.. Miley Cyprus?"

I stared at him, trying to think of where I'd seen his face before,

I bit my lip thinking hard of his name.

"Oliver.. Oliver Opken"

"Oh.. Hi" I smiled confidently, determined that nothing could get me down today

"Listen I'm really sorry ..I…"

"Oliver it's fine"

He continued rambling anyway, I think apart of him felt guilty for what I'd done.

But it wasn't his fault.

That stupid website was just pushing it to the limit, but I did this to myself and no-one else was to blame.

"The comments.. On the website.. Nobody actually wanted you dead" He whispered the last part, like he was scared

It saddened me to think people could blame themselves,

A few weeks ago, I was sure nobody would have cared if I died, but now everything seemed different

"Ollie.."

He looked up at me and smiled slightly,

I think he was surprised I'd used his nickname,.. like we were old time friends.

"None of this was your fault, and … I don't care what anybody thinks.. It wasn't a suicide attempt, and I'm fine now"

He swallowed and looked back down.

"Really I am" I smiled trying to re-assure him

He didn't smile, but he nodded his head, to show he was gonna let it go, and leave it be.

I few more people asked me questions, and acted like they were my friends, but I didn't let them in.

None of them

People seemed friendly, but Lilly was all I needed,

She'd helped me fight this.

And through everything the kids… and the teachers said to me…

It only made me stronger.

Everything's great now.

The money Lilly's mum left her, helped to pay of my dads debts

And he even said he wanted to adopt her.

But we agreed, a piece of paper didn't mean anything,

Lilly was family.

And as long as we stuck together…

Nothing could ever hurt us.

**------------------------**

**Short. I know**

**I'm not good at writing happy endings, but i felt this story needed one.**

**My next story will probably be longer and more descriptive**

**But i need ideas.**

**Maybe domestic abuse??**

**I dunno.**

**Review please telling me what you wanna read **

**Peace+Love xoxo**


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